


Rebirthing

by Roadrunner74



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel in Alternate Vessels, Castiel in the Bunker, Community: spnkink_meme, F/M, Female Castiel, Gen, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-06-02 07:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6558430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roadrunner74/pseuds/Roadrunner74
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a desperate attempt to save a mortally wounded mother and her unborn child, Castiel possesses her to heal her from the inside, not considering the potential complications of possessing a pregnant vessel. He soon discovers that he can only save one of them and the mother begs him to save her child. He does so, but with the mother's soul departed, Cas must carry the child to term and cannot return to his regular vessel. To make matters worse, he is unable to use most of his powers whilst sustaining the child and must turn to the Winchesters for help.</p><p>Meanwhile, the question looms: What will happen to the baby once it is born and will it be changed by Castiel's angelic interference?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Battleground Indiana**

23 year old Miranda Robinson walked through the woods that are located behind her apartment complex. Her little bishon frise puppy had taken off when she answered the door for the pizza delivery man. She had hurried to pay him and grabbed her hoodie to go searching for her pup. It was quickly getting dark and she didn’t have a flashlight.  She pauses when she hears a noise in the woods just ahead of her.

“Pooka? Come here boy.” But instead of a dog, a man emerges from the trees.

Without a word, the man attacks. He is armed with a knife and as soon as he has Miranda to the ground, He begins slashing. Miranda is a small woman, so she doesn’t stand much of a chance to fight her attacker off; but she fights hard anyways. She is twelve weeks pregnant, so she knows she can’t give up as her baby is depending on her to save them.

“God please help me.” Miranda prays as the knife sinks into her abdomen.

****

Castiel had to pull over when he heard the prayer. It had been so desperate, that Cas can’t help but respond.  It took only a moment for him to locate the woman. There is a man standing over her with a bloody knife in hand.

“Hey Assbutt; leave her alone.”

The man just turns to Cas and tries to attack. But Cas is more than able to fight the man off.  Castiel manages to wrestle the knife away from the attacker, and in a move he has known since his creation, he thrust the knife up into the heart of the attacker. The man falls to the ground, eyes open and unseeing. Castiel then turns his attention to the young woman lying on the ground a few feet away. The woman is badly wounded. She has a gaping wound in her stomach and a bleeding gash across her neck.  The soul of the mother is being drawn towards death; and Cas can sense a tiny soul also in the body, nestled deep within the mother’s womb.

Kneeling next to the woman, Cas reaches out a hand to try to heal the woman. But as he does, the baby’s soul causes him to not be able to heal her as he is unable to heal two souls at once. It is a sign of his still weakened grace that he is unable to heal them both.

“I can’t heal both of you…”  Castiel starts to say. Planning on trying to save the mother. But before he can continue, Miranda spoke up.

“Save my baby then. I’ve lived a life. My baby deserves a chance to live theirs. Please save my baby.”

“I would need your consent to use your body as a vessel then.” Castiel said. He knew if the mother was to die without something to maintain the vessel, the child would have no chance to survive.

“As long as you save my baby: then yes.” Miranda says.

“Alright.” Castiel agreed. With that Miranda’s soul left her body; Castiel was pleased to see that it was going to heaven. As soon as Miranda’s soul has vacated the body, Castiel enters it.

From inside the body, Cas is able to heal the worse of the wounds. At least enough for her to get up from the ground.  Castiel then turns her attention to the tiny soul still dwelling within the vessel’s womb. Castiel is pleased to see it is healing. Given the fact that she is now sustaining the tiny soul in her vessel, Castiel knows that she shouldn’t use her powers. So she needs to get help the human way.   

The body of the attacker and her old vessel lay unmoving on the ground. Ignoring the man she had stabbed, she moves to Jimmy’s body that is lying just a few feet from her. Castiel gets some of her belongings from Jimmy’s pockets; such as her cell phone and keys to her car.  It is only when she has the keys in hand does Cas realize that she is miles away from where she had left her car. And with her weakened grace, it would not be wise to try to fly back to her car especially with the fragile soul housed within her vessel. So she knows that she has to get help the human way; she has to push down her grace so it will not interfere with the development of the child.  

She needs to take stock of her resources. Searching the pockets of her current vessel, all she manages to come up with is a set of keys that are in the pocket of the hoodie. One is obviously a car key, although probably newer than her Lincoln. The other is possibly a key to a house, as it looks different than a car key. Looking down the path, Cas can see lights that she assumes indicates houses nearby. Cas wonders if one of them might be Miranda’s as it could be a source of more resources.  Concentrating, Cas finds that even though that Miranda’s soul has left the body a copy of her memories remain. Cas knows that they will be invaluable in adapting to this new vessel.  Also, the tiny soul growing within her anchors her inside this vessel in a way Jimmy never did.

Not bothering to look for Miranda’s dog, as Cas can’t sense the animal anywhere around her, Cas decides to walk down the path in the direction that Miranda had been walking from. Soon, Cas reaches the end of the path and the woods opens up to a large clearing with several buildings nestled in it.  Several had lights visible in the windows; while others are still dark. Cas can’t help but wonder if anyone had heard Miranda’s screams less than 75 yards away. And if so, why didn't anyone try to help her? But Cas doesn’t stop to dwell on that thought; knowing that she needs to get cleaned up before anyone sees her. As she is covered in blood and there are two dead bodies in the woods behind her.

Using the information from Miranda’s memories, Cas was able to determine which is door is hers. She unlocks the door with a small amount of trepidation as she doesn’t know if there will be anyone else in the apartment.  Fortunately, the apartment is empty.  So Cas enters the apartment and tries to get a plan together.  First thing that she needs to do is get the blood cleaned off of her.  So Cas wanders the small apartment until she finds the bedroom to get some clean clothes.  She searches through the wardrobe and dresser to come up with a clean outfit. Once she gets what she hopes is an acceptable outfit, Cas moves to the bathroom to get herself cleaned up. Entering the bathroom, Cas stumbles to find the light switch; before she finally finds it. Cas sets the clothing down on the counter and catches her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Staring in the bathroom mirror, Cas takes note of the differences between this vessel and Jimmy.  Her face is definitely more delicate than Jimmy’s, and seemed to be classically beautiful. Her hair and eye color is almost the same color as Jimmy’s.  

Her hand gravitated to the small bump on her abdomen that contained the growing life with in her. And Cas wonders for the first time if she will be able to perform the mission she had taken upon herself. Turning away from the mirror, Cas takes off her clothing. She struggles with getting the bra off, before figuring it out. She locates the towels, and moves to turn on the shower.  From her time as a human, Cas knows how to properly wash her. So with only minor difficulty adjusting to the different body, she quickly showered; only stopping when the water began to run clear down the drain. Getting out of the shower, Cas toweled herself off; and begins to dress herself in the clothing she had picked earlier.  Again she struggles with the bra, before scanning Miranda’s memories to learn how to do it. She finds Miranda’s hair brush on the counter and quickly runs it through her hair to rid it of the tangles.

Once she is dressed in the clothes that she picks out, Cas retrieves her cell phone. Scrolling through the contacts, she quickly finds Dean’s number. She contemplates the number for a few moments before hitting send. She realizes that she is nervous when she begins to anxiously count the number of rings. 

"Hey Cas."

“Hello Dean.” Cas says.

“Who’s this? What are you doing with Cas’s phone?” It hadn’t occurred to Cas that Dean wouldn’t recognize her. But now that she’s actually spoken using Miranda’s voice, Cas realizes just how differently she sounds.

“I’m Castiel. I had to take a different vessel, which is why I sound different.  I’m in the need of assistance. I can explain better in person. ” For reasons that Cas is unsure of, she is reluctant to tell Dean exactly why she needs the brothers help.

“Ok. Where are you?”  Dean asks and Cas is hopeful that it means that Dean is at least considering to offer his help.

“Battleground Indiana.”

“Alright. We’re in the middle of a case in Columbia Missouri. Do you have a way to get here?”

“Yes. It will take me a while, but I should be able to be there.”

“You can’t just zap here?” Dean asks as it is telling of the state of the angel’s weakened grace.

“Circumstances won’t allow me to do that.”  

“You ok?” Dean asks. He sounds genuinely concerned for her well-being; and it makes Cas think for a moment that Dean might actually care for her, not just her grace.

“I’m ok. But I’ll explain more in person.” Cas responses, still being cryptic with her answers.

“Ok. Just… Be careful Cas. I’ll see you when you get here.” Dean says.

“Alright. I will.” Cas says. She waits to see if Dean will say anything more, but he doesn’t.

After Dean hangs up, Cas quickly grabs several articles of clothing and puts them in a duffle bag she found in the closet. Returning to the bathroom, Cas packs several ‘vessel maintenance’ supplies into the bag. It is somewhat comforting to discover many of the same things that she had used when she was occupying Jimmy: tooth paste, toothbrush (although Miranda’s is a different color), deodorant (again slightly different but still familiar). Cas also grabs Miranda’s hair brush, and notices a few hair ties lying next to it; those too go into the duffle bag. It isn’t technically stealing if she is using Miranda’s things. After all, to the outside world, she IS Miranda. And from her experience from being in a vessel, she knew that the more she attempted to act human around strangers the less questions were asked.

Cas returns to the bedroom for a moment, as there is one more thing that the bit of Miranda that remains in the vessel is adamant about retrieving. Her eyes scan the room and fall on a quilt folded on the foot of the bed. Miranda’s memories tells Cas that the quilt was made by Miranda’s great-Grandmother had made the quilt for Miranda when she was just a child.  Cas knows that Miranda would want her child to have the quilt so she carefully picks it up and takes it with her toward the front door.

Before going out the front door, Cas spies a small bag hanging on a hook next to the front door. She had seen women carry these types of bags before; and that they seemed to contain most of the supplies of being female, including the money that she would need to get to Sam and Dean.  On that thought, Cas picked up that bag as well and carried it with her outside.

Outside the door, Cas wonders which car is Miranda’s. Without meaning to, Cas hits one of the buttons on the car key; and one of the cars honked it’s horn. That was enough to identify Miranda’s car. Cas walks over to the black car and opens the trunk. She placed the duffle bag into it and closed the lid.  For some reason she keeps the handbag with her as she walks around the car to get in. Unlike her Lincoln, she only has one key for Miranda’s car; so she hopes that it only has one key.

Miranda’s car is definitely newer than her Lincoln. It takes her several minutes to figure out how to even turn the car on; but eventually she finds the ignition.  After starting the car, Cas sits there for a few moments and removes her phone from her pocket. When she had decided to travel, Sam had showed her how to work the GPS app on her phone. She programs it to get her directions to Columbia. Then without a look back, Cas backs the car out of its parking space and begins to drive towards the highway that will take her towards the Winchesters. Cas allows Miranda’s muscle memory take over in the operation of the car; as her vessel seems quite comfortable behind the wheel.

****

The next day the brothers are sitting at a diner, about to eat breakfast. Cas had text Dean earlier that morning and let them know that she was getting close to their location; meaning that Cas has probably drove all night. Dean had responded by telling her where to meet them at.

“So Cas didn’t explain much about why he wanted to meet?”

“All Cas would say is that he’s in a different vessel and that he needs help.”  Dean explained, as it was really all that Cas would say when he had talked to her. Dean however failed to mention the fact that Cas is now in a female vessel. Before he could say anything more, Dean's attention is drawn to a blacked out Dodge Charger turning into the parking lot. It parked next to the Impala, and Dean could make out the Indiana license plate.  Once the car is parked, the driver pauses for a moment before shutting off the car.

The driver’s door opens and a girl gets out of the car. She leans back into the car and emerges with a small brown purse. She definitively looks over the Impala as she closes her door; Dean is beginning to wonder if that is Cas’s new meat suit. Then she turns to head towards the restaurant, and wow she is unbelievably attractive.  She looks like she just stepped out of a fashion magazine, even though she is dressed quite casually.

She has long dark hair that spills loose over her shoulders. Her long legs are clad in dark wash jeans and she has on a fitted, black, baby doll shirt. She is slender built, with a rack that is slightly big for her frame; but has all appearances of being real.  

It takes a few moments for Sam to realize that Dean isn’t paying attention to him anymore. Dean is watching a woman walk towards the restaurant.  Sam had to admit that the woman is attractive; and he knows that Dean is definitely interested. If there is one thing the brothers knew about each other, it would have to be what they preferred in a woman. And this woman is almost an embodiment of Dean’s ultimate fantasy.

The woman entered the diner and seems to be looking for someone. She is oblivious to the amount of attention she is receiving from many of the men in the diner; as several truckers that were eating at the bar are noticeably staring.  Then she turns towards the brother’s table, and her expression shifts to one of relief.

“Dean, I’m so glad I found you.” The woman says as soon as she reaches the brother’s table. Sam is the first to find his voice as Dean looks like he has had a brain aneurysm.

“Cas? Is that really you? I know Dean said you had a new vessel, but I didn’t expect it to be so… well, hot.”

“Hello Sam.” Cas says as she turns her attention to the other brother.

Soon Cas is settled in the seat next to Dean and relaying the events leading up to her possessing Miranda. Cas is about to explain why she is still in Miranda’s body when the waitress arrives at the table with a pot of coffee to fill Sam and Deans’ mugs. The smell of the coffee turns Cas’s stomach though; and if she was hungry before, she certainly wasn’t now.

“Can I get you anything, Honey?” The motherly waitress asks Cas as she finishes filling the coffee mugs.

“No thank you.” Cas says trying to fight the strange feeling in her vessel’s stomach.

As soon as the waitress walks away, both brothers turn their attention to the angel.

“You ok, Cas?” Dean asks, he is concerned about the lack of color in the angel’s face. If Dean didn’t know any better, he would say that it looks as if Cas is about to hurl.

“My vessel’s stomach is unsettled.”

“You were fine a couple minutes ago.” Sam couldn’t help but point out.

“It seems as though it doesn’t enjoy the smell of coffee.” Cas offers as an explanation.

Before anyone can say anything more waitress appeared with a plate of toast that she sits down in front of Cas.

“When I was pregnant with my daughter, it seemed like toast and crackers were the only thing that could settle my stomach.  And one of my worst triggers was the smell of coffee.” 

“She’s not-.” Dean started to say, but stopped when he noticed the deer in the headlights look that crossed Cas’s face.  He didn’t say anything more until the waitress walked away. “Miranda was pregnant when you took her as a vessel?”

Cas only nods her head.

“And the baby is still in there?”

Cas nods again; before saying: “I couldn’t save Miranda’s life. So I promised Miranda that I would do whatever I could to protect her baby. She was adamant that she wanted her child to survive. Even if I wanted to, I can’t leave this vessel until the child is delivered.”                                            

“Cas, it’s a big responsibility you’re taking on. I mean going through a pregnancy and birth; not to mention possibly raising the kid. Are you sure it’s worth it?” Sam asks.

“When an Angel takes a vessel, the owner has a right to make a request of the Angel. Miranda’s was that I protect her baby; I am bound to honor that request.” 

“But Miranda’s soul isn’t here anymore; so why go through all of this? You can’t even use your powers until the kid is born.” Dean says wondering what the angel is thinking.

“If you do not wish to help me, I understand.  Until the child is delivered, I would be of no use to you.” Cas says as she gets up from her seat and walks towards the door.

The brothers share a look before Dean gets up from the table to follow Cas out the door. When he gets up however, Dean notices that Cas had left the handbag she had been carrying when she got to the diner. He picks it up; and follows Cas, hoping he can convince her to stay with them.

Cas makes it outside the diner before Dean is able to catch up to her. She pauses when she realizes that she doesn’t have the key to the car; she had left them in the diner, along with Miranda’s bag.  And after the perceived rejection from the Winchesters, the last thing Cas wants to do is return to the diner and face them again.  She wishes, not for the first time, that she could spread her wings and leave this place. But she wouldn’t do that, as the risk of damaging the tiny life within her is enough to keep her grounded.  

Her eyes feel strangely like they are burning and her vision is becoming blurry. She is about to go ask the brothers if there could be something seriously wrong with her vessel, when she hears someone call her name. She turns and finds Dean approaching her. He is carrying her bag, and has a concerned look on his face when he sees the tears welling up in Cas’s eyes.

“Cas, we didn’t mean that we wouldn’t help you. It’s just that this is a major curve ball. It’s not something Sam or I was expecting, but if you want to go through with all this. I can respect that you want to honor Miranda’s last request. So whatever you need me to do to help you, I’ll do it. And your usefulness is more than just your powers.”

“So what do you say: stick around here for a few more days, until we wrap up this case; then go home?”

“Back to the bunker?” Cas asks; still processing what Dean had told her.

“I don’t know of any other home.” Dean says as he tries to lighten the mood.  Cas just nods, not trusting her voice to speak properly.

“Awesome. As soon as Sam finishes paying we’ll head back to the motel. You look like you could use some sleep.” Dean says as he guides her back over to the car. Cas doesn’t protest when Dean pushes her down into the passenger side seat. And as soon as Dean closes the door, Cas is leaning against it; clearly tired from driving all night.

Dean doesn’t say anything when he gets into the car a few moments later. If Cas isn’t asleep, she’s doing a really good imitation of it.  It is still playing on Dean’s mind of how Cas could think that He and Sam could just cast her away if she didn’t have her powers. She isn’t just a tool that is only as good as her Grace. Dean vows to himself that he will do what he can to make that up to Cas during her stay at the bunker.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The Winchesters were able to wrap up the hunt the next day. Cas had been able to identify the spirit that had been killing people in Columbia. It was the ghost of a serial killer from the 1890s that decided to restart his killing career after his grave was disturbed. The ghost’s remains had been almost impossible to track down as they had actually been moved to another site. But Cas had been able to ‘track it’s energy’ or something, leading them to the grave. So they decide head back to the bunker the afternoon after burning the remains.

The morning that they are set to leave, Dean was the first to wake up. He awoke to the feeling of a warm body wrapped around him. Opening his eyes, Dean is only mildly surprised to find that it is Cas. They had opted out of getting a second room when Cas showed up. Dean was perfectly willing to let Cas have his bed, and he sleep on the couch, but Cas had argued against that. So to compromise with her, they had shared his bed. When they went to bed, they had kept an acceptably platonic space between them. But at some point during the night, they had shifted positions to be curled around each other. And since they were now laying in the middle of the bed, it was impossible to tell who had moved closer first.

It is concerning that Cas is sleeping at all. Since getting out of purgatory, Cas hasn’t been the same. Not only was Cas under the control of another angel; but her Grace had been damaged in the escape, and had yet to fully repair itself. After breaking free of Naomi’s control, Cas had seemed more broken than ever. It didn’t matter to Cas that Dean’s wounds had been healed moments after regaining control of himself; Cas had seen the damage done by his own hand. After only a few days back at the bunker, Cas had asked to leave. Actually more like begged, when he wasn’t asking Dean to put him down like a rabid dog.

After a couple days, Dean agreed to let Cas go. They had used warded cuffs to try to keep Naomi out of Cas’s head; so with some trepidation, Dean had unlocked the cuffs. Dean and Sam had decided to allow Cas to have one of the cars in the bunker’s garage; and Dean played driving instructor for a couple days. They had packed a travel bag containing: a couple changes of clothing, toiletries, a credit card for emergencies, and some jerky and crackers. Both Dean and Sam worried about what Cas might be planning to do to himself; but they knew that they really couldn’t stop Cas if he wanted to leave. When they had seen Cas off, both Sam and Dean worried that they might never see Cas again.  
So Dean is grateful for anything that brought Cas back into their lives. And if Miranda’s baby is that thing, then Dean knows beyond a doubt that he will do anything he can to help Cas with it. Pulling himself out of his depressing thoughts, Dean focuses his attention back to Cas, lying beside him, safe and alive. His right hand is resting across Cas’s stomach, and Dean could feel the slight baby bump of Cas’s abdomen; and he wonders how he had missed it earlier.

  
Dean couldn’t help study Cas as she slept. Her dark hair is messy from sleep and her expression was the most at ease that Dean had ever seen Cas. She is so beautiful it kinda freaks Dean out a bit. Not because she’s beautiful, but because it’s Cas. And it feels wrong somehow to be thinking those types of thoughts about his best angel buddy. Dean decides to get up before he does something stupid, like kiss her. But in trying to disentangle himself from Cas, all he manages to do is wake her up.

“Dean, is something wrong?” Cas asks as she realizes that Dean is getting out bed.

“No Cas. I’m gonna head out to get breakfast. Anything special you want? Toast, no coffee?” Dean asks as he puts on his jeans.

“You don’t have to get me anything.” Cas says. Her vessel’s- her stomach is rolling this morning. Besides she doesn’t want to be a burden to the Winchesters.

“Cas, you should try to eat something. Even if you didn’t need food before, the baby might need the nutrients from it.” Dean gently argues. “So what will it be?”  
Cas studies Dean’s face looking for any sign that he might not want to bother with getting her food. But she only finds that Dean is sincere.

“I don’t know what might be good. But I would like some toast” Cas says remembering how the toast had settled her stomach yesterday.

“Alright. One order of toast for the pregnant angel.” Dean says as he picks up his keys. The look that Cas gives him, which Dean knows is supposed to be a glare, can only be described as adorable. Before he can stop himself, Dean leans down and presses a kiss to the top of Cas’s head. “I’ll be back soon. You might want to get what you need to do in the bathroom done before the Sasquatch over there wakes up.”

Once Dean leaves the room, Cas gets out of bed and sorts through the clothing in the duffle of Miranda’s clothing. Finally deciding on a pair of black pants and a yellow top; Cas goes into the bathroom and begins getting ready for the day. All the while thinking about Dean. His actions of the last couple of days have definitely confused her. He, and Sam, had been treating her differently; like she is a fragile piece of glass now. Cas is unsure if it is because of her being in a female vessel, the pregnancy, or that her grace is not what it once was. She can’t allow herself to think that it is because they actually care about her, not just her grace. In her entire existence, she hadn’t had anyone genuinely concerned about her wellbeing; not even her brothers and sisters.

Emerging from the bathroom, Cas finds that Sam is out of bed. He is going through his bag, looking for his supplies to get ready for the day. Sam is never very alert the morning after a hunt until he has had his shower and had a cup of coffee.

With a grunted ‘morning’ Sam goes into the bathroom to take his shower. Cas decides to go ahead and use the coffee maker and get coffee made for Dean and Sam. Following the directions on the coffee maker, Cas is able to get the coffee started. But the smell of the coffee soon forced Cas to step outside the room. Which is where Dean found her

“You ok?” Dean asked

“I tried to make coffee for you and Sam. But I couldn’t take the smell.” Cas explained; embarrassed by her in ability to control her vessel’s reactions. It is telling of how weak her grace is that she cannot suppress even the most basic functions of the body.

“You didn’t need to do that, Cas. I know it messes with you.” Dean replies. “But thank you for doing it anyways.” Dean says as he goes into the room, Cas follows a few moments later. Fortunately the smell wasn’t as strong as it had been when Cas had gone outside. Once Dean sets up the table for breakfast, the three of them sit around the small table to eat. And while Cas did eat the toast, Dean notices that she mostly picked at the other items that he got for her.

After breakfast, they pack up to head back to the bunker. Dean had at first suggested leaving the charger in Columbia, but Cas had gotten a disappointed look to her face that Dean had caved. Sam had laughingly accused him of being whipped, and Dean had retaliated with a pillow lobbed to the back of Sam’s head.  
So Sam is driving the Impala, and Dean volunteers to go with Cas in the charger: claiming that Cas didn’t need to be driving all the way back to the bunker alone. Sam just gave him a knowing look, as he knew that Dean really wanted to test drive the car. Sam nearly wet himself laughing when Cas demanded her keys back. Dean had given it up like a little boy whose mother was taking away their toy. Cas had even laughed a little as she got in the driver’s seat; and seeing Cas laugh makes Dean decide that it is worth it to be riding shot gun with Cas. An idea struck him as he watched Cas get into the car, and Dean hopes that they will be able to pull this off.

Before Dean got into the car, he pulled Sam aside for a quick conference.

“How fast do you think you can get to the bunker and get a room set up?” Dean asks as soon as he believes Cas is out of earshot.

“About a day. Why?”

“I’ll try to stall Cas, if you can go ahead and get a room set up for her. The one across the hall from mine is cleared out of everything besides the furniture, so it’ll be an easy set up.”

“Dude, I have no idea what Cas would even like.” Sam argues.

“It doesn’t have to be the Hilton; just enough to be comfortable. We can leave the actual decorating to Cas. I just want her to have a place to call her own; she deserves that much at least.” Something about Dean’s tone told Sam just how much it meant to Dean that Cas feels at home in the bunker. So he decides to go along with Dean’s plan; besides he also wants Cas to feel like the bunker is home.

“Alright. Simple, yet comfortable. Got it.”

“Thanks, Sammy.” Dean says with a pat on the shoulder as he walks away towards the charger. Sam watches as Dean gets into the Charger with Cas; he is curious about how Dean will manage to distract Cas from her task of driving to the bunker. But he doesn’t have time to ponder it too much as Cas is already starting the Charger and ready to head out. Sam quickly gets in the Impala and fires it up. Soon, the two cars are heading west down the highway. Sam is following the Charger as they make their way across Missouri.

As the approach Kansas City, Sam sees Cas signal to take the exit ramp. Sam wonders if there is a problem when his phone beeps indicating a text message.

It’s from Dean: “got her to make a detour”

Sam knows that's his cue to go on ahead and try to make up as much time as he could to get back to the bunker. He has already mapped out his route to the bunker including stops at a few stores to get supplies. So as soon as the Charger is on the exit ramp, Sam guns it; continuing down the interstate.


	3. Chapter 3

As the charger made its way across the Missouri, a companionable silence had descended on the car. Dean couldn’t help but cast occasional glances towards Cas every few moments. She is much more comfortable behind the wheel than she had been just a few months ago. Her dark hair is blowing in the wind coming in from the open windows.

For some reason, he was curious about who Miranda was. He felt that he should at least know about her. Miranda had been a real person. She had cared so much about her unborn child, that she had put it’s life before her own. But at the same time, Dean is unsure as to how to approach the subject with Cas without thinking that Dean only cares about his attraction to Miranda’s body.

“So was she related to Jimmy?” Dean asks knowing that if an angel isn’t in a vessel of a specific bloodline, they begin to burn it from the inside out. Cas just nods, not taking her eyes off the road.

“His niece. Her mother was Jimmy’s older sister. She died when Miranda two years old. Miranda’s father tried to maintain contact with Jimmy and Amelia for Miranda; but after he died when Miranda was ten, they lost touch with her. Jimmy never lost hope that one day Miranda would contact them.”

“So why didn’t she?” Dean couldn’t help but ask. If he had lost both of his parents in childhood, he would have grabbed on to any family that he could.

“Her stepmother wouldn’t let her. And by the time that she was able to leave, the number she had for Jimmy had been disconnected.”

“Miranda had an evil stepmother?” Dean asks. He expects Cas to give him her ‘I don’t understand that reference’ look; so he is shocked when he hears Cas’s quiet response.

“That’s an understatement. Janet didn’t want to lose custody of Miranda, so she cut ties to anyone who could take Miranda. Not because she wanted, or even cared for, Miranda. Miranda’s father own a profitable shipping company, which is why Janet married him to begin with. But before he died, he set it up for everything to go to Miranda; and the only way Janet could receive anything is to retain custody of Miranda. And she wasn’t exactly a loving mother.”

“So I take it she didn’t exactly have the best childhood.”

“It was deeply troubled, yes. But she had a good soul even after everything that happened to her. She was a selfless person, who put everyone else before herself.”

“Do you know about the baby’s father? Won’t he worry about what happened to Miranda and the baby?” Dean couldn’t help but wonder. Surely, Miranda had a caring partner who would be deeply worried about her and their baby. So he is surprised by Cas’s response.

“No. He won’t. His soul is suffering in Hell.” Cas’s voice is reminiscent of when Cas had been an angel robot. While lacking in emotion on the surface, there is a steel undertone that caught Dean off-guard.

“Why?”

“He is the one who killed Miranda. He had been dating Miranda for a few months but was very cruel to her; and the sex wasn’t exactly consensual. Miranda left him and moved to her apartment in Battle Ground. He followed her there and found his opportunity to attack her that night. She was mortally wounded when I found her. Her killer was standing over her, ready to strike another blow. I stabbed him through the heart with his own knife. After he was dead, Miranda begged for me to save her unborn child. ”

“Shit,” Dean muttered to himself as he absorbed that information. It made sense why Miranda would put her child’s life before her own now. Miranda was probably done with the hardships of her life, but didn’t want her baby to die with her. But if the sex wasn’t consensual, then Dean wonders why Miranda didn’t get an abortion.

“What about any other friends or family? People who’ll miss her?” Dean asks, trying to assess the chances of people looking for Miranda.

"Miranda was what you might call a recluse; her only constant companions were her pets. She didn't stay in one place too long; and mostly lived off the subsidies payments form her father’s company. And when she did work, it was making runs for the shipping company; where she spent hours on the road on her own.”

“Sounds like her life was more than troubled; Cas.” Dean commented.

“Perhaps.” Cas responded. But when Dean looked over at her there was no indication that she had even spoken; and was clearly done with the conversation. Dean turned his attention to the passing scenery and noticed billboards for various destinations in Kansas City. He glanced in the side mirror and sees Sam in the impala, following them at a comfortable pace. It is probably the best place to put his plan into action.

“Hey Cas, want to take a detour? Get off at the next exit?” Dean asks trying to be nonchalant so as to not tip his hand.

“Why?” Cas asks genuinely confused by his question.

“For fun. We don’t have to be back at the bunker by a certain time, no hunts on the radar, we’re allowed to take a break every now and then.”

“Alright.” Cas says as she signals to get off the highway.

“Is Sam not coming?” Cas asked as she noticed Sam continue down the highway.

“He said he was going to head back to the bunker. Garth called and he needed some help with some research.” Dean lied.

“Then shouldn’t we head back to the bunker to help him?” Cas asks

“No, Sam said that he can handle it. He knows that I needed a break, so he said take our time going back to the bunker.” Dean continues to lie; hoping that Cas will buy it. She apparently does as Cas says nothing more on heading straight back to the bunker.

Once they got off the highway, Dean convinced Cas to let him drive the car. He had a couple destinations in mind for this side trip; and he wanted them to be a surprise for Cas. One of the first places Dean wanted to take Cas was somewhere to get her some more clothes. Miranda’s clothing, while good for now, Dean know that it will only be a matter of time before Cas would need new clothes; as her pants already seem like they are getting tight. Dean had snooped through the duffle bag that Cas had brought with her, and discovered that Cas didn’t have any maternity clothing; not that Dean was an expert on women’s clothing

Besides, Dean can’t think of a better way of letting Cas know that he supports her decision to continue the pregnancy, than taking her maternity shopping. He had mapped out the way to go the store, so it is easy to navigate through Kansas City to the store. Cas says nothing until Dean is parking the car in a space in the parking lot of the maternity store.

"Where are we?"

“Stop number one. We need to get you some more clothes.” Dean explains as he shuts off the car.

“I have clothing, Dean.” Cas replies in a tone that can only be described as petulant.

“You have Miranda’s clothes from before she got pregnant. They might be good right now, Cas. But soon they’ll start getting tight as the baby grows. And there isn’t a lot of stores around the bunker that has maternity clothes.”

Cas doesn’t seem convinced, but she does get out of the car and somewhat willingly goes into the store. Once they get inside, it is clear that Cas is overwhelmed by the selections; and it would have been comical if Dean wasn’t feeling completely out of his element as well. But underneath Dean’s initial amusement, he is reminded of the fact that shopping is probably an entirely new experience for Cas.

Cas looks about two seconds away from bailing on this whole endeavor; so on it’s on volition, Dean’s fingers intertwine themselves with Cas’s and gives her hand a reassuring squeeze. Dean can feel Cas’s rapid pulse through her fingers as he holds her hand and Dean has to wonder just what has her so freaked out. Whatever it is, Dean needs her relax before something bad happens.

“Trust me, Cas; most girls like this. Shopping is supposed to be fun. So you need to calm down. Please?” Cas gives him an odd look; but, as if she flipped a switch, her heartrate begins to go down.

But before Cas can say anything however, they are approached by a sales clerk. She is a petite blonde that is way too perky than what Dean would consider to be normal. Cas actually takes a step back from the sales clerk, whose name badge identifies her as Mandy, and eyes the woman like the warrior Angel that she is. Cas seems put off by her exuberance; and Dean is just thankful that Cas hasn’t summoned her blade. By the looks that Cas has given Mandy, the thought has definitely crossed her mind.

“Have you been to our store before?” Mandy asked in an overly upbeat manner.

“No; we haven’t.” Dean answered; since it was obvious that Cas wasn’t going to answer.

“The way our sizes are is that you buy your pre-pregnancy size. Let me show you around and maybe recommend a few items for you.” With that, Mandy proceeds to show Cas around the small store; pointing out the benefits of various items as she goes. While it is obvious that Cas isn’t enjoying shopping; at least she makes an effort to go the motions of selecting clothes. When Cas has a decent selection of clothes; Mandy ushers her to a dressing room. Again, Cas is less than enthusiastic about the experience; but allows herself to be led and disappears behind the dressing room curtain.

Dean finds himself sitting in a chair outside the dressing room, flipping through a magazine that was undoubtedly left by some expectant father. He looks up when he hears Cas say his name; and is stunned by Cas’s appearance.

Cas is dressed quite casually in a dark blue denim skirt, that comes just above her knees; and a white top a dark blue design embroidered around the neckline down to her chest. Mandy must have given Cas something to tie back her hair; as it is now styled in a slightly messy ponytail. The ballet flats that Cas had been wearing complement her current look a lot better than the jeans and t-shirt look that she had been sporting earlier. And while Cas is wearing more clothing than most girls that Dean goes with, her modest look is shockingly hot.

“Wow.” Dean says when he can remember how to form words. “You look different.”

“Do you like it?” Cas asks. And she sounds so damn shy, that Dean feels the need to reassure her.

“Yeah, Cas. I like it.” Dean says as he tucks a wayward lock of hair behind Cas’s ear. “You look very pretty. Have you decided on what you want to get?”

Cas just nods her head, then says: “I found the shopping experience tedious and I hope it won’t be necessary again for some time.”

Dean can only laugh at the sheer Cas-ness of her answer. “Hate to break it to you, but you’ll have to go shopping for things for the baby before too long.”

Cas gives Dean a long suffering look, which Dean can’t help but laugh at as he turns Cas back towards the dressing rooms to gather up the clothing she wants to buy. Cas emerges a few moments later with a decent size bundle in her arms. Dean takes the bundle from her and helps carry them to the check out. Cas has a decent selection of clothing to work with; and Dean figures if she needs any more than they could probably order stuff on the internet.

Mandy quickly rings up the clothing. Dean was about to get out a credit card; but Cas is quicker; putting a card on the counter without batting an eye. When Mandy hands it back to Cas, Dean notices the name on the card: ‘Miranda Robinson’. Dean says nothing as he is almost in shock at the ease Cas has as she signs Miranda’s name on the ticket. They gathered the bags and headed towards the exit.

“So you’re using Miranda’s cards?” Dean asks once they get out of earshot of the door.

“To everyone that doesn’t know about me: I am Miranda. I find that it might be easier to maintain that illusion for those that don’t need to know the truth. Besides I do not wish to be a burden on you, when I know that Miranda would want the money that she had be spent on things for her child.” And Dean finds that he can’t argue with her reasoning.

“Is that why you seem more at ease?” At Cas’s confused look, Dean adds: “Like with driving, before you didn’t seem all that comfortable behind the wheel; now you drive like a pro.”

“With Jimmy, I didn’t have the need of trying to anchor myself within a vessel. But with this vessel, it has a greater need for me to remain connected to it. I also seem to retain a copy of Miranda’s memories and mannerisms. Miranda spent a lot of time in a vehicle during her life, so this vessel is comfortable in a car.”

Again Dean can’t argue with her as he too had spent much of his life in the Impala. Once they get to the car, Dean opens the trunk for them to store the shopping bags.

“You’re not a burden, Cas.” Dean says after they get into the Charger. “I’ve told you before, Sam and I consider you as family. You pulled me out of Hell: that alone makes me forever in debt to you. You took the chance to help us with the apocalypse; even when that meant falling to do so. Yeah, you’ve made mistakes; but you had good reasons behind your decisions. And when you left the bunker… Sam and I… well, we were worried about you. And we’re really glad that you’re back. But enough of this chick flick moment; how about we go get something to eat? You feeling up to it?”

“Sure.” Cas responds, knowing just how hard it was for Dean to admit to what he did. One of the many things John Winchester had attempted to drill into his sons was never show emotion. Even years after his father’s death, Dean still tries to live up to his teachings in some vain attempt to gain the man’s praise.

“Alright.” Dean says as he fires up the engine. It takes some driving around before they find a place to eat.

When they get inside the restaurant, Dean tells Cas to go get them a table while he gets the food. As Cas waits for Dean to return with their order, a mother with a young child sitting at one of the other tables catches Cas’s attention. Mostly the little girl catches Cas’s eye. She is about three years old with curly blond hair. She is wearing a white shirt with Minnie mouse on the front and a pink skirt. She is clumsily licking at an ice cream cone and has ice cream around her mouth. Even her eyes go wide as she opens her mouth to take her next bite. The mother is cleaning ice cream off the little girl’s face. And while her words were of an exasperated nature there is no malice to her tone.

As she watched the pair, Cas’s hand subconsciously moves to the bump of her abdomen. She couldn’t help but wonder if she would be able to take Miranda’s- _her_ child for ice cream one day. Cas is so lost in her own thoughts that at first she doesn’t notice that Dean has come to the table.

“Cas, everything ok?” Dean asks as Cas seems lost in her own thoughts. Dean had noticed that Cas had taken up the habit of always placing a hand on her baby bump.

“Yes. I’m fine. Just thinking.”

“About the baby?” Dean chances a guess as to what might have Cas so lost in thought. Cas Just nods her head, but doesn’t offer any more on her thoughts.

“How are you feeling anyway? With being pregnant I mean?” Dean dared to ask. Cas pauses to consider what Dean has asked; and when she does answer it isn’t what Dean is expecting.

“Fearful. I’m not made to take care of people, least of all an infant. Angels aren’t supposed to carry children… They only carry weapons.”

“But?” Dean asks. It doesn’t escape him that Cas had referred to Angels as ‘they’; did that mean that Cas no longer considers herself an angel.

“This was God’s greatest gift to humanity. I’ve done so much damage to both Earth and Heaven. I don’t deserve to be able to experience this.” Cas says as she continues to absently rub her baby bump.

“Cas, you deserve to be happy. With everything that you have willingly sacrificed, you deserve happiness as much, if not more than anyone.” Dean tried to reassure her. Dean remembers how Cas had said just after getting out of Purgatory how he (since Cas had been in Jimmy at the time) had considered seeking his own death. Dean knows how close to the edge Cas had once been and can only hope that the concern for the baby would continue to help pull her back from doing harm to herself.

TBC


End file.
